Are You Expecting?

Are you expecting? I was.
Several blog posts ago I focused on perfect love and to date I continue to work on my ability to give and receive love effortlessly.
These last 40 days provided me with the opportunity to travel further on my love quest. After much soul searching and peace searching, I found the root of my love challenge. I was expecting! What an enlightenment! My discovery allowed me to walk on, and I confess the road was rocky in my pursuit of peaceful, effortless love.
My extended journey led me to a trinity of sources and each one provided me with the clarity I was looking for. The first person was (is), Jesus Christ. The compassion of Jesus and His ability to love in the face of adversity, continues to astound me. Saint Paul describes the emptiness of action without love in 1 CORINTHIANS, CHAPTER13 . Although I know I will never reach Jesus’s level of perfection, His model of love pushed me to conduct a short but meaningful activity that I developed for myself. I divided a sheet of paper down the middle. On one side of the paper I listed five words that I felt defined the qualities of love.
1. Loyalty
2. Obligation
3. Selflessness
4. Attentiveness
5. Indulgence (which is different from understanding and/or sympathy)
On the other side of the paper I listed five words that I felt defined the qualities of compassion.
1. Understanding
2. Sympathy
3. Concern
4. Kindness
5. Consideration
Suddenly I realized my definition of love was exhausting me in my efforts to show love and in my husband’s efforts to meet my expectation of love. In that moment compassionate love blazed genuine. Didn’t it make more sense to look at love as a soothing value rather than a responsibility that most of the time causes angst?
In my search to fully comprehend my new discovery, I stumbled upon my second source,
Jaggi Vasudev Sadhguru in his talk on how expectations ruin love. I listened intently as Guru explained, “love, most people go into relationships to give love and to get love.” He additional shared, “however, expectations ruin the relationship.” An aha moment! Guru went on to say “not even a god or a goddess can meet the expectations of another and in time the relationship will sour, and why does an individual feel unfilled when each piece of the life is complete by itself?” As I listened the tension of my idea of love began to ease. The calculations of who did what and how many times, and whose turn is it, and if you loved me you would do it began to fade away and be replaced by the peace that comes with compassion.
Wanting to learn more I traveled further down the road where I met my third source, Aruna Shields, on the free meditation app InsightTimer. Aruna guided a six-minute meditative interpretation of the Tao Te Ching. Basically, the Tao enforces the human spiritual perfection and the art of ruling through applying the Tao principles. Personally, I took the “art of ruling” as applied to myself, meaning that by meditating on the principles I can preside over or govern the improvement of my spiritual being. Each of the Tao principles unlocks a mystery. The first principle, “the you who can be discussed is not the eternal you,” shook me to my very core and detonated a fury of feelings I had never before recognized. I realized that my ability to give and receive love hinged on the expectations of others and if me and my choices caused disappointment it would result in judgement and gossip. Crippling! How could I love and give love if I was not true to myself? Here is where the real work began, and in the words of Guru, “when we devoid ourselves of expectations, we set ourselves free.” ❤

To journey is to discover…. I’ll see you there.


Mental Cleanse

As February comes to an end, I am reflecting on my New Year’s resolution. I decided to create a healthier lifestyle, which included joining a new gym and adjusting my diet to eat cleaner. With a full time job and two young children I need all of the energy I can get in order to keep up with my life, besides the fact that I am trying to stop my face from falling (lol). The first thing I do when my body feels sluggish is give it what it needs to run more efficiently. This resolution seemed so easy on January 1st with the promise of a fresh start, but as the months go on life brings its challenges and my resolution seems more challenging then I originally planned. That cup of coffee in the morning looks much more appetizing then the glass of water cut with apple cider vinegar.
Maybe it’s not just my diet and exercise routine that are the problem? What do I do when if my brain is sluggish? I recognize my thoughts and mindset are as detrimental to my body as my diet is. If what I put in my body is important, then the thoughts I allow my mind to make is equally as important. With this new found knowledge I have embarked on a mental cleanse. Thanks to a wonderful member of my tribe who shared the app Insight Timer with me, I now begin and end each day with a guided meditation. Not only can I select the perfect meditation but I can also join a community of others who are on the same journey. Knowing that I am not the only person with worries, anxiety, and stress is comforting. In addition, I started researching chakra balancing. This is the process of opening each center of energy which translates into a feeling of total well-being.
On January 1st I was missing a big piece of the puzzle. It isn’t only diet and exercise that create a healthy body. Having my brain and heart in harmony has created true peace. Forget my New Year’s resolution, hello new way of life.