Are You Expecting?

Are you expecting? I was.
Several blog posts ago I focused on perfect love and to date I continue to work on my ability to give and receive love effortlessly.
These last 40 days provided me with the opportunity to travel further on my love quest. After much soul searching and peace searching, I found the root of my love challenge. I was expecting! What an enlightenment! My discovery allowed me to walk on, and I confess the road was rocky in my pursuit of peaceful, effortless love.
My extended journey led me to a trinity of sources and each one provided me with the clarity I was looking for. The first person was (is), Jesus Christ. The compassion of Jesus and His ability to love in the face of adversity, continues to astound me. Saint Paul describes the emptiness of action without love in 1 CORINTHIANS, CHAPTER13 . Although I know I will never reach Jesus’s level of perfection, His model of love pushed me to conduct a short but meaningful activity that I developed for myself. I divided a sheet of paper down the middle. On one side of the paper I listed five words that I felt defined the qualities of love.
1. Loyalty
2. Obligation
3. Selflessness
4. Attentiveness
5. Indulgence (which is different from understanding and/or sympathy)
On the other side of the paper I listed five words that I felt defined the qualities of compassion.
1. Understanding
2. Sympathy
3. Concern
4. Kindness
5. Consideration
Suddenly I realized my definition of love was exhausting me in my efforts to show love and in my husband’s efforts to meet my expectation of love. In that moment compassionate love blazed genuine. Didn’t it make more sense to look at love as a soothing value rather than a responsibility that most of the time causes angst?
In my search to fully comprehend my new discovery, I stumbled upon my second source,
Jaggi Vasudev Sadhguru in his talk on how expectations ruin love. I listened intently as Guru explained, “love, most people go into relationships to give love and to get love.” He additional shared, “however, expectations ruin the relationship.” An aha moment! Guru went on to say “not even a god or a goddess can meet the expectations of another and in time the relationship will sour, and why does an individual feel unfilled when each piece of the life is complete by itself?” As I listened the tension of my idea of love began to ease. The calculations of who did what and how many times, and whose turn is it, and if you loved me you would do it began to fade away and be replaced by the peace that comes with compassion.
Wanting to learn more I traveled further down the road where I met my third source, Aruna Shields, on the free meditation app InsightTimer. Aruna guided a six-minute meditative interpretation of the Tao Te Ching. Basically, the Tao enforces the human spiritual perfection and the art of ruling through applying the Tao principles. Personally, I took the “art of ruling” as applied to myself, meaning that by meditating on the principles I can preside over or govern the improvement of my spiritual being. Each of the Tao principles unlocks a mystery. The first principle, “the you who can be discussed is not the eternal you,” shook me to my very core and detonated a fury of feelings I had never before recognized. I realized that my ability to give and receive love hinged on the expectations of others and if me and my choices caused disappointment it would result in judgement and gossip. Crippling! How could I love and give love if I was not true to myself? Here is where the real work began, and in the words of Guru, “when we devoid ourselves of expectations, we set ourselves free.” ❤

To journey is to discover…. I’ll see you there.


Dream Baby Dream

The first step in a journey is inspired by a dream. Whether it is a hike, a drive, a redo, a challenge, an expedition into the mind, etc. the adventurer takes off with the intent to accomplish a personal vision.
I love the excitement caused by the anticipation of a journey, whether it is a big one like a trek across Europe or a small one like a drive to the city to collect a piece of long sought-after art, the expectancy is thrilling. Usually I don’t find it difficult to set sail. But I confess, recently I did because the journey that I was about to embark on involved a transformation within myself and my surroundings. I couldn’t take the first step because I didn’t know where to or how to begin.
In my cyber-search for guidance, I stumbled upon Mike Dooley. Here I found the direction I was looking for. I participated in a 30-day free course that focused on how to move your dream forward. I purchased a notebook and logged on to each short, self-directed session every day. At the end of the 30 days I had a notebook filled with storyboard pictures, subject notes, inspirational quotes, personal to do lists and a cyber-community of “friends” that helped motivate me to create my own roadmap to success.
Today I am a different person than the person I was a year ago. I transformed a former guest bedroom into a DIY home office and meditation room and presently, I am sitting at the desk that is nestled in a corner of the room writing this blog and cyber-searching new business ventures. Where did my journey take me? It took me to places unknown full of discovery within myself, my relationships, my career, and the intimate world around me.
I didn’t go it alone. Two masters help to inspire me along the way. The first, the Master of the Universe in these words, “Take courage, do not fear, start a new life tomorrow; put the old mistakes away, and start anew unburdened, no anxiety, no worry, be glad, be thankful.”
The second, The Boss, Bruce Springsteen, “Dream, baby, dream, dream baby dream, we got to keep the light burning, we got to keep the fire burning, we got to keep the light burning, come on and dream on dream baby dream.”
We are never too old, too settled, or too down to dream, so put on your backpack, pick up your walking stick and tread on. We’re all in this…. together.