How My Partner’s Depression Changed My Life

The minute I met my ex-husband I immediately fell in love. He was handsome, charming, and charismatic. We had an instant connection. We seemed to make each other so happy. We laughed all the time. I didn’t realize it then but there were signs that something wasn’t 100 percent right but I over looked it because I was in love and I was also young. We met when I was 22 and fresh out of college.
Within a few months of dating his behavior began to change. At times, I felt like I was on a roller coaster, there were so many ups and downs. Things would be fine for a few months and then bam all of the sudden he wouldn’t want to wake up to or go to work. He was very distant and private. The harder I tried to get close to him he would push me away. Our conversations were empty; the laughs had turned in petty fights over the fact that he didn’t want to help in daily chores such as paying bills, or taking the garbage out. He had a hard time sleeping at night and wanted to sleep during the day because he was so exhausted. I often felt like a nag or as if I was acting more like his mother rather then his partner, but then it would pass. Some life changing event would snap him out of his funk for example, the birth of our daughter. Things were good for a while but slowly I could see his behavior changing again. I could never understand why or what it was. I had no idea that it was the dreaded word depression. I always thought, maybe he just didn’t love me, or he wasn’t happy with me and I would try any everything to please him. It was exhausting. I didn’t even think about myself anymore getting our relationship back to that happy place was all I could think about and concentrate on. I got so used to this cycle of highs and lows however, when we were in a good place, I always had the fearful thought of when the next low would come because I always knew it would. I began experiencing anxiety over this. I would be in such fear because each low was worse than the last. At our lowest point, he lost his well-paying job that provided our family with health benefits; luckily I had a good job and was able to make it by with the help of my family. For over a year and a half he refused to find a career. He worked odd jobs but mostly laid on the couch watching TV or would hang out with his friends. I was the enemy in his eyes because I would tell him he needed to see someone, that this wasn’t normal and his response was, “I am fine everything will be ok, I’m just not happy with you.” I heard this line countless times throughout our marriage that I couldn’t hear it anymore. I was beaten down mentally and had little self-esteem. One day I walked out, put my house for sale and didn’t look back. It may sounds easy but it wasn’t. I am still in therapy of the loss of my love and the life I hoped to have.
If any of this sounds familiar you are not alone. It isn’t easy to recognize the signs of depression in your partner and it isn’t easy to get them to recognize they need help. Make sure you find a therapist to help you cope and manage your relationship before it gets to a point where too much damage has been done and it can’t be fixed. Don’t let depression win.
7 Signs of Depression:
•Feelings of hopelessness
•Loss of interest
•Mood swings
•Anxiety
•Abnormal Sleeping patterns
•Changes in appetite and weight
•Thoughts about death or suicide

My Favorite Spring Beauty Must Haves

With April quickly approaching, I am getting super excited for spring. I shake off the funk that sets in during the long winter months. Winter still has its hooks in us here on Long Island. The days are still blustery however, I can hear the birds chirping and I see the tiny bulbs peeking out of the ground so this has to mean the end is in sight. I don’t know about you but I am already cleaning out my closets, opening the windows and giving my home a heavy duty cleadetoxning.
It isn’t just my home that needs an overhauling. I myself need the same TLC in order to prepare for the warmer months. Here a few of my favorite products under $25 that I use in order to prepare for Spring:

Detox tea by Yogi– not only does it taste good, it removes toxins from the digestive system and improves liver function. I start every morning with warm cup while I sent my intention for the day. Looking good on the outside requires being good to your insides. I pick mine up at Target but you can find them at your local supermarket or ordesupergreensr it on amazon for $3.99

Green Superfood powder from Amazing grass- I throw a scoop of this in my morning smoothing or in my bottle of water. It’s a wonderful mix of farm fresh greens, fruits, and veggies. There is no added sugar, it’s plant based, and no GMO’s. I love the combination of wheat grass, organic alfalfa, and organic spirulina. Being a single mom and a full time teacher I often don’t have time to get my daily dose of fruits and veggies. This gem right here gets it done in one simple scoop. I either pick mine up at target or on amazon. I often get the cheaper price on amazon. Price ranges from $20-$24.

facemaskPineapple Enzyme Infused Facial Sheet Mask-OMG! By far this is my top pick. I picked one up at Target the other day and I ran back the next day to stock up on the. This mask softened and smoothed my skin while reducing inflammation. Not to mention the smell of pineapple was super refreshing. Sephora also carries them as well as good old amazon. I swear everything on this list you can get at Target or Amazon which makes life so much easier. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to go from store to store searching for these products. Price ranges from $2.99-$5.

bronzer L’Oreal Paris Sublime Self-Tanner– There is no way I am breaking out my white legs this spring. I can’t even bare the thought of putting on a dress or skirt. I would probably blind someone. (lol) I want a natural looking glow nothing to dark especially since I just do my legs. This brand works for me other brands are good as well. I just recommend a crème or foam. I actually prefer the foam I feel like it applies better. Just wash your hands really well right after or you will be stuck with tan palms. Find it at your local drugstore, target, or amazon. Price ranges from $8.99-$11.99.  Find it at your local drugstore, target, or amazon. Price ranges from $8.99-$11.99.

Some other must haves that you definitely need to purchase every season are a new lip gloss and nail polish. I’m obsessed with Essie’s 2019 line.

Happy Shopping,

virgo

 

A Cup of Whimsy

There is something about the coming of March that carries a touch of whimsy.  The air becomes a bit balmy.  The days grow longer and the early evening slant of light create a  fairy-like hue across the end of the day.  I confess I find it a wonderful time to gaze out of the window, sip a delicious cup of coffee and reminisce.  In this atmosphere, my thoughts carry me back to Ireland and the places and experiences that warmed my heart. With St. Patrick’s Day just around the corner I thought it would be a grand time to share a route to visit, a treat to eat, and an elixir to enjoy.

If you want to experience the magic of Ireland, The Ring of Kerry will not disappoint you.  The Ring of Kerry is a 179-kilometre-long circular tourist route in County Kerry, south-western Ireland. Clockwise from Killarney it follows the N71 to Kenmare, then the N70 around the Iveragh Peninsula to Killorglin – passing through Sneem, Waterville, Cahersiveen, and Glenbeigh – before returning to Killarney via the N72.  An enchanting loop!

It was at a café at the foot of the Ring of Kerry that I experienced the most savory cup of Irish Coffee and here is the recipe for you to enjoy:

Irish Coffee:
Ingredients
1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 jigger Irish whiskey (1 1/2 ounces or 3 tablespoons)
Heavy cream, slightly whipped

Fill a footed mug with hot water to preheat it, then empty. Pour piping hot coffee into warmed glass until it is about just passed half full. Add the brown sugar and stir until completely dissolved. Blend in Irish whiskey. Top with a collar of the whipped heavy cream by pouring gently over the back of a spoon. Serve hot.

No doubt along the route you will hit a bakery.  Step in and savor the aroma of Irish Soda Bread baking in the oven.  Order a slice.  It will come splattered with hot butter.  You won’t leave the shop without buying a loaf, and surely you will want to make it at home.

INGREDIENTS
• 4 to 4 1/2 cups flour
• 1 Tbsp sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 4 Tbsp butter
• 1 cup caraway seeds
• 1 cup raisins
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 1 3/4 cups buttermilk

1 Whisk together flour, sugar, salt, baking soda: Preheat oven to 425°F. Whisk together 4 cups of flour, the sugar, salt, and baking soda into a large mixing bowl.
2 Work the butter into the flour, caraway seeds and raisins: Using your fingers, work the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse meal, then add in the currants or raisins.
3 Make a well, mix in buttermilk, egg: Make a well in the center of the flour mixture. Add beaten egg and buttermilk to well and mix in with a wooden spoon until dough is too stiff to stir.
4 Lightly knead dough and form dough mound: Dust hands with a little flour, then gently knead dough in the bowl just long enough to form a rough ball. If the dough is too sticky to work with, add in a little more flour. Do not over-knead!
Transfer dough to a lightly floured surface and shape into a round loaf. Note that the dough will be a little sticky, similar to biscuit.
5 Score with a cross: Transfer dough to a large, lightly greased baking sheet.
Using a serrated knife, score top of dough about an inch and a half deep in a cross. Brush the top of the bread with melted butter.
6 Bake: Transfer to oven and bake at 425°F until bread is golden and bottom sounds hollow when tapped, about 35-45 minutes.
Check by inserting a long, thin skewer into the center. If it comes out clean, it’s done.
7 Let cool a few minutes: Remove pan or sheet from oven, let bread sit for 5-10 minutes, then remove to a rack to cool briefly.
Serve bread warm, at room temperature, or sliced and toasted. Best when eaten warm and just baked.

Life is a journey.  It should be traveled far and wide.  It should be filled with people, places and experiences that keep us enriched long after the journey ends.

As we journey into a new season enjoy and…..March on!

India